Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Valentine's Day


I spent my Valentine's Day in Atlanta, Georgia at a cheerleading competition for my oldest daughter. The whole family was there - Tommy, Emily, Sarah and me. I made sure that I had Valentine's cards and gifts for the girls. I made sure Tommy had at least a card. I will be honest, I was busy leading up to this "love" holiday and didn't put much thought into anything but the cards. I on the other hand didn't get a card, chocolates, or flowers and that is okay.

This entry isn't to complain or pout about not receiving tokens of love from my husband. After 17 years of marriage, I have finally learned how Tommy expresses his love. I owe this revelation to the book "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. If you are feeling under loved and not appreciated, I recommend reading this book.

Tommy expresses his love by doing things for his family. He is not the cards, candy and flower kind of guy. Although he has given me cards and flowers through the years, it is usually because he felt obligated to do so. You know birthdays, anniversaries and past Valentine's Days where his young bride would pout if she didn't receive something.

In reality, Tommy would rather show his love by doing things for me. He makes sure the vehicle is maintained and safe to drive. He works diligently around the house making repairs, stripping wallpaper, painting, cleaning spots on the carpet, tiling floors, unstopping the garbage disposal time after time. He even read the book "The Five Love Languages" because I requested he do so.

So for this Valentine's Day, I didn't get the usual tokens of love. What I received was the gift of my husband willing to travel with his wife and two daughters to a cheerleading competition 3 1/2 hours from home. I was given the gift of my husband willing to spend his Saturday and Sunday with thousands of cheerleaders and their insane parents. I was given the gift of a husband who sacrificed watching the Daytona 500 to be with his family.

This Valentine's Day I really did receive a gift. It was the gift of his love in his own "love language".

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